Your Former Youth Pastor Has Smoked Weed

Attorney General Jefferson Bouregard Sessions has announced several times that he is to crack down on marijuana users and states who allow it, citing that it makes people violent

Sigh. Ok. Listen. 

Your former youth pastor has smoked weed. 

It’s fine, you guys. It’s totally fine. Making it legal would take all the clandestine energy away from its use and as a topic. It’s fine. 

If more people smoked weed, maybe a lot of folks wouldn’t turn to racism and oppression as a pastime to feel better about themselves. It’s fine. Pot is fine. If you smoke it responsibly, you’ll be fine. 

It’s fine.

In fact, if I’m feeling like I want to do a violence on some guy who has it coming, weed helps me feel like “nah. Nah, I don’t need to do a violence. Nah. This is fine. I’m fine.”

And then I’m like, “man. It sure would be nice if there was ice cream. OH MAN WHAT I WOULD DO FOR SOME ICE CREAM!” And then, tickled by this though, I begin to make a list of things I would do in that moment for some ice cream. 

Inevitably, violence is suggested by my brainstorming. 

(To self) “yo would I do a violence for some ice cream?” I ponder, trying to see if there is a scenario in which I can make this be the answer. But then, there it is: no. Violence is not the answer. This great chill I have going is almost certainly the answer. What was the question again?

OH! RIGHT. 

(To self) “yeah man, I don’t think I’d do a violence for some ice cream right now. Maybe let’s try just being really cute in a text message to Jenny.”

And sometimes that works. And sometimes there is ice creams. 

But not violence. 

Cartoons, yes. Feeling better and more human despite how fucked up the world is and how constant my stream of consciousness burns out on the subject and how deeply I explore in every dark thought; yes. Yes, I feel better in spite of those things. 

But not violent. 

YOU’RE violent, conservatives. YOU’RE violent, my own congressman who voted for a law that would kill me. YOU’RE violent, attorney general who was too racist to be a federal judge. YOU’RE violent, Trump voter who wants poors to eat shit. YOU’RE violent, dementia sex criminal president. 

Marijuana users? They’re fine. 

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6 comments

  1. Two contributors to Patheos share a similar testimony: going from small-time drug dealers to full-time Christ-preachers. I think more and more it’ll be a ‘normal’ part of one’s testimony to have experience with drugs. Which is really bothersome for those of us coming from a legalistic Christianity to see such sinful behavior awarded so knowing that those of us who haven’t will get called all sorts of names and be considered bad and wrong.

      • It’s more of a matter of perspective.
        Let’s say it’s a rite of passage and if you’re a certain age and you haven’t – well, you’re not a fully realized individual.
        And if you have – you’re a fully realized person who can only look upon those who haven’t with pity as the immature souls that they are.
        Needless to say – nobody should be pushing people to do something one way or the other – it should be a personal choice and it shouldn’t be expected of everyone else in order to arrive or be a member.


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