Hiatus

I recently had to take a leave of absence from Facebook. Here’s why:

I was beginning to have Hulk-sized fury. And it escalated to an embarrassing level. 

There were many sources to my anger: arrogant bullying, over-exposure to braggadocian behavior, and emotional erosion brought on by continually seeing people who called themselves Christians saying or doing enormously stupid things. I even wrote a post about online & Christian etiquette (which is now deleted) in an effort to combat what I now know was an overindulgence of social media. But that didn’t really help for longer than two days.

I spent one evening reading post after post on the wall of someone I love very much. So many people were feeding lies to this person.  My heart was breaking. Usually when someone’s heart breaks, tears just roll down their cheek and they move on, right? When my heart feels breaky my voice feels yelly and my fists feel punchy. The problem was that I took that energy to an ultimate frisbee game and released it on my own teammates in a verbal blast of anger. I apologized and, at my request, they came up with an appropriate punishment for me. And then we drank Gatorade.

All that to say this: I’m making an effort to really invest in people. Because I love them.

This online stuff is a tool to aid conversations and relationships, but it is not an accurate representation of how deep and wonderful a community, a relationship, is. As much as I would love to read through every single item on Facebook or monitor the responses you get on Twitter to make sure you’re not being fed lies or bullied or inaccurately testified at, I just can’t. I love having conversations with you, even the people who I have never met face to face.

So here’s what I want you to take away from this: I love you. You are super important to me. And because I love you so much I need you to know I believe God loves you way more than I do. Because I love you so much I am driven to tell you I believe Jesus died to rescue you.

I need you to know that you are worth so much to me and that is entirely due to what God has done to my heart. And it would be a great injustice for me to pretend that those words are all the Gospel is about. So I invite you to purposefully engage in relationships and community with me. That is where we will more fully learn about the love of God.

So, let’s hang out. Let’s have a conversation. Do you play disc? I may need new teammates.

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9 comments

  1. I know you’re looking for a not-about-you response, and that “less is more” but I’m your Mother, OK?

    I’ve slept on your post now (well, not literally), and I have to echo and expand on Laura’s post:

    I am so very proud of how deeply you love. If people only knew you like those closest to you do, they would see that even the anger you feel deeply is based on love. Your dedication to sharing God’s love by letting it flow through you is beyond admirable.

    I’m also very proud of how open you are to growing and changing and … well … becoming more like Him. No, you aren’t open to it, you seem to strive for it. You look for areas that aren’t right in your life and do what it takes to change them – or allow Him to change them. You are amazingly honest (upfront, frank, call ’em like you see ’em) with others, but you’re willing to be honest with yourself too. This takes guts because it can be quite painful sometimes.

    My church summarizes our mission statement on the wall of our sanctuary: “To know Him, to be like Him, and to make Him known.” I don’t of anyone that lives this mission out to the extent that you do. I know you will someday hear from your King, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”


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