:

1) Call on people individually. I’ve been surprised by how much and how deeply a student was thinking when he was silent. Sometimes they might just need a little push.

2) Let the group own the discussion. I can always print off a few extra discussion pages. Give them out to some of the group and have them lead the questioning. Let them exercise and stretch their conversational leadership, and just be there to help. I’ve seen a leader cut up the questions and have different group members draw them out of a box one at a time and present them to the group.

3) Circle up. The space you’re in and the manner in which the group sets up communicates a whole lot. If every chair in the room is facing only yours exclusively, you become the teacher in front of the class and they the students there only to listen. Instead make sure everyone has equal role in the discussion with a round-table set up.

4) More thought time. Sometimes we’re quiet because we’re still trying to process what we just heard. That’s totally ok. Point out how we just heard a lot of information and they may find it beneficial to silently unpack what they heard before a discussion. Have them all find a corner of the room to journal/think/pray for an additional 2-3 minutes. I’ve used this one only a couple times, but you may want to keep it in your back pocket.

5) Let boys be boys. And men be men, for that matter. Guys bond most when they’re doing something. i’m pretty sure it’s science. Example: I have never (NEVER!) just sat and talked with a guy friend one-on-one. I’ve had plenty of really serious conversations, but they were all while we were throwing a disc, running, building, playing with legos (that was 3 months ago), cooking, hiking, eating, shooting bad guys on Halo 4… you get the point. If your group of guys is mature enough to handle the multitasking, add this discussion tool every once in a while. (note: I know this works well with girls, too. It just goes waaaay farther with fellas.)

6) Be prepared. Everyone should come prepared. Encourage your group to come with questions for each other. You can just tell them it’s a good idea, and you can also lead by coming with additional questions you thought of during the message (or during the week, depending on how your group works). It’s key that they know the questions are for the whole group- not just for you. This should never be a game of “stump the leader”.

7) Remind them that you want community and discussion – not right answers. For some reason, every question in a small group can feel like a theological test of definition. And most of them aren’t. Uncertainty can breed silence. Simply easing any fears that they could be judged can go a long way.

8) Don’t be afraid of silence. I know- it’s like a small group leader’s kryptonite. Silence makes us feel like we’re failing. But like I said in #4, there is a lot of thought happening. The best professors I ever had knew this principle. After asking if there were any other questions, they would always count to ten in their heads before breaking the silence again. Don’t step all over the eight more seconds they might need to decide they do have something to say. Silence gives more opportunity to organize the thought into a shareable sentence.

What do you think? Do you have any to add?

“College kids, twenty-somethings, even high schoolers- they’re so flaky.”

I’ve heard this so many times. Especially from church leaders. I even believed it. For, like, a day.

But then I realized I show up for things. And my same-aged friends show up for things. Consistently. Actually, we are pretty good at it.

So why do so many churches have such trouble getting millenials through their doors? Well, there are several reasons, but here is the biggest one I’ve found to be true:

We feel like we’ve been lied to when we’ve been lied to.

So we tend not to believe lies. Why would we want to show up to something we think is being lied about? Let me give you some examples:

EXAMPLE 1 : God told me to (thing that is a personal idea).

So many have broken up with someone or have been dumped by someone using this whopper. “I just feel like God is telling me to focus on my own blahdy blah blah bloop.” Followed by an emotional goodbye. Followed by seeing that person dating someone else a week later. Followed by the dumpee being mad at both the dumper and God. Lame.

Churches do the same thing from the pulpit, from the bulletin, and, if they’re relevant, they do it in 140 or less. Solution: Be real. Take ownership of your ideas, plans, discernments. If what you’re saying is something you passionately feel is a result of your interpretation of the Bible colliding with your prayers and discernment, why not call it that? This post by Carey Nieuwhof is an awesome example of the right way to think about it.

EXAMPLE 2 : Everything is marketed as “Exciting”

Or they’re pumped. Or psyched. Or they CAN’T WAIT!

I tend to think this one is just lazy copy writing. “We’re so excited to hear about…” “This Sunday is going to be so exciting…” “This exciting new series…” Ugh. Spare me, Jessie Spano, we know you can’t really be that excited about everything- you’re probably just scared no one is going to show up to your thing.

Solution: Pace yourself with that word. Can some of your upcoming events perhaps be described with different rhetoric? Is it going to be heartfelt? Bold? Challenging? Choose the words that actually describe what is happening.

Besides, everything was EXTREME TO THE MAX for us in the nineties and we got over it. Save that excitement for when you really really mean it. And even then, use restraint.

EXAMPLE 3 : Numbers.

Really? You had 120 people at your Bible study last Wednesday? I could have sworn it looked like the same 52 people who are there every week. …And some of them were asleep.

It’s as if church leaders of older generations either can’t count or think no one else can, bless their hearts.

Solution: Stop. Just stop it. From now on 52 = 52.

Really, I know no one likes being lied to. All the hyperbole, exaggeration, and forced emotion has taken a larger toll on college students, twenty somethings, and high schoolers. So let’s call a spade a spade starting now. And BONUS: You’ll feel truthful when you’re telling the truth.

He didn’t need to wear a slimming color but he was dressed mostly in black, headphones in, Playstation Portable in hand. He almost always looked like he was trying to sneak a nap in during the church service. And there was usually a hood or, even better, his signature fedora to hide his face that much more.

That hat, man. Those of us who knew him have all caught him striking a marlboro man pose with that fedora as he walked up and down the highways in Canton. His poses provided me and the rest of the Student Ministry at Oak Leaf Church with so many smiles. It was like he was trying conjure up the epitome of coolness but his timing was all wrong. Ultimately, though, it is part of what made him cool because he would always laugh with us and strike an even bolder pose.

I know Brandon had a huge capacity to love because of what he shared with me while I was his chauffeur a few times. He barely (barely!) had an income but he had me drive him to the store so he could make a cake for someone. I accidentally found out he was spending his last pennies for a few weeks to do so.

Another time while driving Brandon around I asked him what was important in his life. Really, I was beating around the bush to make sure he knew Jesus. He definitely answered my subquestion, but not in the way I expected.

He responded with story after story of someone he helped out because he couldn’t fathom leaving them without aid. He had just turned 18 at the time. Most 18-year-old boys in Brandon’s place would have every excuse to be selfish. Not Brandon. He was an unending source of service. He wanted to feed a family here, encourage someone there, and work off the gas money he was costing me. He had been in many dark situations that I know 18-year-old me would have failed miserably (really you could probably put 28-year-old me in that category too). And yet it seemed that every time he came out able to smile and love on everyone around him.

Yeah, you wouldn’t think Brandon was the kind of guy he was by looking at him. He was always tired because he got up 4 hours earlier than the rest of us so he could walk 2-6 miles to church. It was important that he get there. It was important to him that he be present and be community. This kid wanted to learn more about Jesus and he made sure he was at the place where he could do just that. He loved all of us. And we love him, too.

Brandon.

It’s not cool that your life ended before we were ready. As if we ever could be. It’s not cool that I didn’t find a chance to give you a car so this could be avoided. It’s not cool that a guy who showed us so much love would have to experience any pain at all.

It breaks my heart.

Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for the cake. Thank you for the smiles. Thank you for showing us how important we are to you.

Thank you for showing us the kingdom of God.

I love you, Brandon. And I so look forward to seeing you again in God’s glory.

And when we travel, we’re still the same kind of missionary. In 2012 we went to Orphanage Emmanuel in Honduras and it was great! Thank you to all the team members who got us there. You can read more about it here and here. We’d love to get together with you sometime to tell you all about it. Seriously. Even if you’re only a little curious. Let’s make that happen.

In fact, 2012′s trip went so well that we are committed to returning again in 2013. This comes on top of the other ministry and aid trips to Andros Island and El Salvador that we already had planned.

Jenny is using all of her 2013 vacation time from work. I probably am too. I don’t know. I don’t know how much vacation I get. Probably less than Jenny. I’m sure I’ll have a meeting about it soon.

But anyway, we are using our vacation time to help others who live in extreme poverty, love on kids who have been abandoned or taken away from terrible situations, and a third thing that you like more than the first two. Will you join our team? I really think you’d be a great addition. Here you go- 12 ways to join:

1. Donate to our garage sale. We’re selling a bunch of our stuff to help raise funds this time around. But we don’t have that much stuff. Can we have some of your stuff?
2. Buy some stuff at our garage sale. We hope to have some really cool stuff! Stuff you’ll love. Stuff you need. Stuff you may have just donated to us.
3. Bake. I’m thinking a full-on desert table at the garage sale. But I don’t bake.
4. Come with us. Really. There are other seats on the bus. Or plane. Or boat. Or, I don’t know,  You’ll fit.
5. Join our Student Ministry Team. There are sooooo many roles to fill to be a missionary in Bartow County. My favorite role is being the youth pastor. But there are others.
6. Settle Catan. Gamers, save the date for a Settlers of Catan Tournament on Saturday, February 23rd. Details coming soon. On that note, do you have a game board we can borrow?
7. Watch our dog. Mostly just give him food at the right times while we’re gone. Maybe throw a ball. Ask him how many squirrels he almost murdered. Don’t steal our stuff.
8. Share our story. A friend of mine once multiplied her donation by 20 just by making one Facebook post with this link and the reason she supports us. Totally easy. You can do that too.
9. Open a savings account. At Wells Fargo. Through Jenny. She gets a small commission, but you can also save a little bit of money each month and then donate it in May. Win/Win/Win!
10. Pray. For us, for our teams, for the orphans, for the staff of Emmanuel, for the people of Andros Island and El Salvador, and for our pilots.
11. Send us. I work in ministry. And yeah, Jenny works at a bank, but we pretend it’s a bigger deal than it actually is. So it’s hard for us to afford ministry. And a lot of other things. Do you work in not ministry? Your gifts of dollar bills could really help a lot on the financial side of missions.
12. Right… 12. The dice thing in the title. I guess roll again.

I really believe that your participation on any of these levels is just as much of a participation in the mission and an obedient following of God’s call to take care of orphans, widows, and those in need. The expenses of 2013′s trips will be $7,250 with half due by May and the rest due by August 15th. If you would like to be a part of the team by assisting with these expenses click “make a donation” below or make a check out to Church at The Well and send it to the below address. (You can also send happy little encouraging notes to the same address). A tax-deductible receipt can be sent to you from the church if you leave the memo line blank. (Note: there is not currently a way to get a tax-deductible receipt for online payments.) Most importantly, though, pray for the team.

Thanks for being such a pal. I love you like crazy.

And I LOVE being a misssionary with you.

Chad

Online:

Or by mail:
TEAM FLOYD
175 Pine Grove Road Suite 110
Cartersville GA 30120

Guest Post by Jenny Floyd:

No one would ever really describe me as a person with a passion for children.  I am rarely found in the nursery at church, and I often answer vaguely when asked when I will have children of my own. Chad says I only make three expressions: regular relaxed, fake smile, and that thing that happens to my face when someone suggests pregnancy. I haven’t seen it, but I’m sure it’s not pretty. All of that doesn’t exactly point to going on a trip to spend a week with children in Honduras.

So I signed up for the orphanage trip knowing construction would be involved. There was going to be digging, building, and sweating- and I wanted in on that team.

We arrived on a Sunday, so we started out with church in the morning. Our team was supposed to tour the area and meet a few people with the expectation that we’d really get into it the next day. The church was full of older teens and volunteers. It was all in Spanish so other than recognizing some Hillsong tunes I didn’t understand a lot of what went on.

After church was over some girls on my team asked if I wanted to walk to the gym with them to see the little boys. To be completely honest I didn’t really want to go, but I was trying to keep an open mind, and I couldn’t come up with anything else to do. The moment I stepped inside that gymnasium 30 tiny boys jumped all over me, wanting to hold my hand, elated with the attention I could give them.

That moment that has changed everything in my life.

I have never been so overwhelmed with joy at one time. I have never made such a difference in someone’s day with something as simple as hand holding. I have never in my whole life imagined I could be so popular.

Later on I learned that that age group of boys is called the Power Toddlers. They are still young but aggressive enough to do some damage if left alone with the little ones that can’t walk successfully yet.  We began to describe a day with them as “playing our brains out” because it often included constant running, ball throwing, and having at least four Power-T’s attached to your limbs for hours on end.

I did end up giving a few of my hours to manual labor, but the boys of the Power Toddler house truly stole my heart. The morning after we returned to the states, I was so glad to be in the dark worship center at church with the band playing loud, as I cried and began to deal with all I had witnessed.  The unspeakable acts of abuse and trauma that brought the children to the orphanage just wouldn’t leave my mind. I am still broken-hearted- really, I don’t want to let myself stop being broken-hearted. The most beautiful part of their story is how much love is in that orphanage.  It could only be because of God that a place that should be full of sadness and grief is overflowing with love and joy. I am so thankful that I got to experience such a beautiful manifestation of God’s power and mercy through those children.

To help send Jenny on more mission trips or to see what she has coming up, check out the Missions Page.

Thankfulness was this week’s theme, but for many constant overwhelming gratefulness is very difficult to grasp. Where do we go for genuine Biblical thankfulness?

Thanks from Chadwick Floyd on Vimeo.

These are the scraps. The trimmings. The outtakes. They are delicious, Uncategorizable, and intentionally miscellaneous. Enjoy.

Every night the 20-somethings had giggle time during which we ate far too much candy and decompressed after the emotional day. This outtake happened after the first full day. Note my sunburn.

RAWR. CHAD SMASH. Give me grace when you watch this next one. The biggest adjustment I have to make on mission trips is always (always) with my own team. I love the guys I with whom I was rooming. It was just a lot harder to love them on the first morning when we woke up two+ hours before anything was scheduled. 

…and by the way, I did adjust. On the last day I was one of the first to wake up to capture this sunrise: 

One of my main pals was Evan. He was really good at crying. And really cute when he wasn’t crying. 

Here’s a quick spanish lesson. From Bryan, not me. 

What’s next? Check out the missions page.

But while we were in Honduras I didn’t get one single chance to say that in any kind of appropriate context. Disappointing.

I did, however, fill my days doing everything our supporters sent us down there to do.

That’s right. I tricked you into reading a mission trip post. :) If you’re a scanner, go ahead and watch the video at the bottom.

I gave the staff of the orphanage some much-needed support. There are 600+ kids of all ages in Orphanage Emmanuel. There are about 22 staff (some paid, some volunteer). If you’re any good at math, you understand that the staff just doesn’t have time to do a lot of the things they’d love to do. Here’s a few:

• I helped our team dig up about 200 yards of broken sewage line and replaced it with good, strong, not-broken pipe. So, we were standing in doodoo water. For real. But the team got the job done and now the orphanage is a healthier place to live in. This definitely could not have been done without your support. Thank you.
• Members of our team offered their voices and stories to the daily Bible studies and chapel services. As you might imagine, the kids don’t really hear the house leaders’ stories anymore because they’ve become so stale.
• You may have read in the last post, I muscled the baby carts through mountainous terrain to give the ladies at the infant house a bit of a break. Seriously, watch this video if you haven’t yet.

I loved on the kids. Since the staff is so small, the kids don’t get as much positive attention from adults as they need to feel healthy. So, I and the rest of the team passed out hugs, held hands, and gave attention until it left our bodies bruised. And I loved it.

• I was constantly something to climb on. Even when sunburned. The need for love outweighed the shooting pains.
• I wrested the 8-11 year old boys for hours. Once, accidentally, on top of a mostly dried up cow patty. *shrug*
• I had terrible, nonsensical conversations with the 10-18 year-old girls. It was only terrible because of my level of comprehension of Spanish. But, let me tell you, it meant sooo much for them to get that personal conversation, even if it didn’t make much sense.

So, if you are one of the many who joined our team by supporting it prayerfully or financially, Thank you. And even if you were one of the many who told us you were going to give and just forgot, Thank you. Your intention went a long way, too (and I promise to give you more opportunities, smiley face). Together, we did so many wonderful things.

Supporters, please please please let’s get together so I or Jenny can fill you in a lot more on what we did. There are some things that really can’t be expressed properly unless it’s in a conversation. And then there are also some things that we straight up aren’t allowed to write about. You deserve to know what you were a part of, so let’s get together!

Here’s a four minute video giving you a brief idea of what we did:

Orphanage Emmanuel September 2012 from Chadwick Floyd on Vimeo.

Jenny and I are determined to return within the next year. Will you join us?

I expected there to be many hardships to have to endure while traveling to and staying in Honduras. The landing is rough, the roads are terrible, the water will give you violent diarrhea. And much harder or even impossible to deal with- Having to leave the children who would absolutely steal my heart.

I’m working on a video and some blog posts to more fully immerse you in what we were doing. But for now, here are five things I did NOT expect in Honduras:

1) I did not expect to work with babies.

Because I work with teens. Not babies. Not ever. But in the baby house I found myself. Jeffry here continued this act for about 45 minutes. I think he ate about three full spoonfuls altogether. I apologized to the leaders of the house for being so terrible at feeding him. They reminded me of the candy cane he ate 20 minutes before lunch.

2) I did not expect what “take the babies for a walk” actually meant.

I think we went on a two mile walk hike around the campus. That was a lot of hills. Going down was pretty fun, though. Three of my passengers even fell asleep despite getting air as we sprinted down the hills.

3) I did not expect to be so popular so quickly.

Really this is a testament to how important it is to send missionaries to these kids. Most will immediately latch on and soak up the attention that the small staff just isn’t able to give them. It’s because of mission supporters and the missionaries themselves that the kids are so welcoming to hear from and get love from new people. To illustrate: by comparison the kids in the Romanian orphanage I went to three years ago would barely be seen near any of us on the first day. Here, they all climbed all over each of us right away.

4) I did not expect to get so many laughs.

You know, because of the culture and language barriers. I thought I could maybe make some funny faces for the small kids to create smiles, but that was about it. But no, the Honduran people laugh at just about anything and for no real reason at all, which I relate to.

5) I did not expect to be present when a new arrival was dropped off.
While I was feeding Jeffry, the Honduran government dropped off a four-month-old baby girl. You can hear her screams in the background of the first video.

It’s bittersweet because the little girl had to be taken away from some awful stuff, yet she was arriving in Emmanuel where she is going to be taken care of very well. I wanted to cry with her, knowing that change can be terrifying even if it is for waaay better.

Folks who went with me- what did you experience that you didn’t expect?

Some of your guesses were pretty good.

No. We’re not pregnant. Neither of us.

The actual announcement:

I am now the Director of Student Ministries at The Well in Cartersville.

Let me explain why this is so killer:

1. I Love Cartersville. I love the people, I love the community, I love the schools. I went to Woodland High School and South Central Middle School in Cartersville. So I am already very familiar with the area, the people, and some of the leaders. I know how to get to the band room, the bathrooms, and the principal’s office- in all of the schools in the area. There are still pictures of me on the walls of the schools I’ll be ministering to.
2. I love The Well. We can stay here for a long time. I was very, very, very, extremely
   picky when we were reading through job descriptions and church websites while searching for a potential employer. It was important to me because wherever we ended up was also going to be where we get fed, where we learn, and where we develop a family of believers around us. I know The Well is the place for me and my family. This church has the kind of leadership and structure that I know I will thrive in. Plus:
3. I love the potential. The church and the area are both so ripe for student ministry. There is already a great student ministry there, but they haven’t yet had a full time student director. I am so ready to put what I’ve learned in leadership and student ministry over the last ten years to good use. The Well already has amazing volunteers and healthy church culture. I get to help further advance that Kingdom mindset in students, missions, in the community, etc.
4. I love what they love. Donuts. And missions. If you’ve kept up with the blog, you know Jenny and I have plans to get more and more involved with international missions. It is overly clear that folks at The Well really love loving on other people, locally and internationally. We will have tons of opportunities in Liberia, Andros Island (I’ve been there before!), and the gulf coast. Even better, we will be interacting with the same people in those locations every time we go back. So the relationships will be getting deeper over time.

So if you were one of those who have been praying for me and cheering for me, thank you. I am extremely excited to be joining The Well. If you live in or near Cartersville, Georgia, I’d love for you to come check us out.